This job is affecting my relationship. The hours are making me irritable and I feel like when I get tired I stop thinking rationally. I blame my significant other for things that aren't really her fault. I'm not okay with feeling like this, or with doing these things. It's not me, it's not who I am. The hours are too long and it creates tension between me and her. She worries and she's right to be worried. I'm afraid of falling asleep at the wheel and I'm afraid of not waking up in the morning due to exhaustion.
Every morning it gets harder and harder to wake up and I care less and less about even showing up. There's a large part of me that says I should just stop showing up, stay in bed and get some sleep. My girlfriend asked me the other day if I am one of those people who are willing to be miserable for the sake of money. I didn't really have an answer for her. I'm not willing to return to making chump change at my local grocer, nor was I even happy with my previous lifestyle, but I'm not particularly happy here as well. I'm torn between making money and being happy. Money doesn't equal happiness, but it does help regardless of what anyone says.
The Tl;dr of the matter is, I'm tired of this place and the shenanigans associated with it. It's wrong on too many levels, and it's affecting me in too strong of a way.
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